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We had Sleepy Hollow weather this morning, so I had to get out & be part of it before the sun burned the gloom away.  My hands smell like green walnuts from cutting out the volunteers that rise annually from the sprawl of honeysuckle by my shed.  I think it would make a nice perfume component.  Allelopath by Chanel...when you need to say, "I poison my surroundings so that none may rise to challenge me."  

I tend to let my yard do what it wants.  That is, I tend to not tend to it.  But I intend to change that.  I look around & find that everything doing well on its own is an invasive species.  I envy the perfectly rustic Instagram yard-gardens & I know they are beyond me.  I need to try something small next year.  I'm not a planner, though.  Planning makes me anxious & puts me in a bad mood.  I want things to instantly fall into place on the day that I need them.  Apparently, that isn't how it works.

There's a house half a block north of me flying a big, blue Trump 2020 flag that reads, "Make Liberals Cry Again".  A red dot in a blue county in a red state.  I laughed when I saw it was still up, but the past four years have seemed like an alternate reality to me, so why should it end for his followers?  I suppose, either way, there's some truth to it.  I don't consider myself "liberal" any more than I do "gay" (though I may share some essential characteristics), but I do find it incredibly disturbing & disheartening that so many people voted for him.  It was disgusting enough in 2016--his putrid package already on full display--that almost 63 million said, "Hell yeah!".  The following decade-squashed-into-four-years of his shameful, ugly behavior representing us to the world should have been enough to induce convulsions of contrition in most of these people.  But to *add* seven million to that trash heap?  To galvanize & celebrate such a delusional, lame mutation in the evolution of our Country?  There is no excuse, economic or moral, that makes sense to me.  But 70,000,000 Trump fans can't be wrong, right?  It's a kick in the head for me.

On the other hand, I saw a photo of some graffiti that read, "Make Racists Afraid Again", which also seems wrong-headed.  I think a lot of people are racist because they are afraid, whether or not it's warranted.  I think their fear is dangerous.  I understand the sentiment is that their hateful stupidity should stop being emboldened & encouraged.  Yes.  It should be scorned & they should have their noses rubbed in it.  But I don't want them going back underground where they can procreate & fester into pus-filled boils that explode the next time we have a major election.  I want them to be held accountable.  I want them to be enlightened.  Make Racists Open to Change.  Make Racists Learn to Love.

Funny thing--Friday night, before the election had been called, I dreamed that I was leaving work & Trump was walking across the parking lot, scowling at me.  What made me laugh when I woke up is that he was dragging not one, but three huge wooden crosses over his shoulder.  And there was nothing penitential in that petulant glare.  So long, Presidunce.  I do not wish you well.

In my dream last night you asked me to marry you.
The ring you gave me was copper with a silhouette of praying hands.
WTF, man?

"You are my center when I spin away"

I'm Ok, I'm not Ok.